Why We Follow the Dead on Twitter via @huffpost

When a person passes away, their social media presence lives on. We see this every day with each passing, especially when the nature of death is interesting enough for media to seek the Facebook profile or Twitter account to source photos or posts for the corresponding story.

In recent months, I have noted a number of high profile events where the social media content of the person who passed was not only sought after by media but by those who use social media to keep up with the story as it progresses.

During the summer of 2012, we saw the Colorado movie theatre shootings where one prominent social media user lost her life leaving behind a Twitter account that quickly increased in followers as her story spread. The purpose of social media is to engage and to interact with others online; this behaviour of following the dead is compelling, especially considering how simple it is to convey sympathy through a hashtag like #RIP.

I thought about this in reflection of real life as we lose friends and loved ones. I wondered, do we “like” obituary pages in the newspaper or do we respect them?

When we see hate shared on a memorial page online, does this behaviour exist because the troll wants to prompt anger and attention knowing that they are sharing openly but anonymously and would that person make the effort to violate the sanctity of a family in mourning at a funeral?

The shootings in Aurora, Colorado left a number of answers for investigators on social media, especially from those who survived. We all became front line spectators looking at Tweets as movie goers arrived in suspense for the movie event and subsequently viewed pictures and posts as they were shared from those in the theatre.

@JessicaRedfield who perished in Aurora had 2,328 followers on Twitter when she entered the theatre and after the shooting and announcement of her death, that number slowly grew to 7,198 within 11 hours of her last tweet. Within 13 hours that number grew to 10,100 followers, 14,400 within 17 hours, 20,700 within 23 hours and 22,800 within a day of death.

Many Twitter users prefer quantity of followers compared to quality and in my work, I try to educate youth about the value of positive connections online compared to the inflated value of acquaintance. Facebook friendship has always been a conversation piece in my work where I encourage users to engage their friendship list with real-life valuations. Would you pay a dollar for every friendship request online? Would you cull your friendship lists if you knew how a person is actually using your shared content, especially when we see how online users abuse the content left behind by the dead on social media websites?

One test I encourage is the “Write it Down” reflection — take a pen and paper and write your Facebook friends down on paper from memory. See who you forget, why do they have access to personalized content online if you cannot remember who they are?

The death of Amanda Todd in Vancouver shook students, parents, schools and police. Dialogue occurred within communities about addressing bullying, social media safety all while content that this child left behind online was horribly used by users around the world, surfacing after being altered in Photoshop. People changed her photos with content that they thought appropriate for a laugh because they would never have to look her family in the eye. I became curious about those who shared her name, what social media effect did the other women named Amanda Todd see?

Here are a few sample Tweets from women who shared a name with a child who committed suicide. These women posted compassion, comparison photos in defence of their identity, links and accepted new followers all throughout the online hysteria that accompanied the news of this prominent suicide.

“I’m a different Amanda Todd, so please stop asking if I’m dead or fake. I’m neither. I’m totally different”

“Like the WORST way to get followers :/”

“QUESTION!” Why would someone want to follow a girl that just passed away. Lol it’s not like she’s going to be posting things….”

“this is not me. i am not the Amanda Todd that committed suicide. leave me alone”

Parents, we worry about our children online, but have we factored in the constant contact that the outside world has with those in your home, especially when your child shares a name with a person who has recently passed away?

Consider opening dialogue with your child if there is an event noteworthy enough to connect your family name to a story and ask yourself how you will deal with the death of your child and the people who will use social media to attach themselves to the story. Whether it is using the photos that your child leaves behind to create something to add further hurt to an imaginable situation, fake accounts that will surface in your name or the name of your child and how you will address the new followers your child has online because of the social media accounts they had while living?

The family of Jessica Redfield Ghawi kept her Twitter account active in the hope that the online memorial would provide awareness to the nature of her untimely death. Some 30,000 people followed within a week of her death. Currently, Jessica’s Twitter account has 26,800 followers but the Twitter account that is set up for the scholarship in her name @JRGFoundation has just over 3,000 — take some time and see if we can continue to help beyond a follow.

Those who are reading this and have a value for followers ( #TEAMFOLLOWBACK I’m talking to you). Have we considered how our families will cope with the people who want to add to the drama of death by increasing pain from behind the veil of the Internet? What happens to online social media accounts when we do not leave behind passwords, login info or access for parents who are dealing with the loss of a child?

In my work today, I ask youth why they hesitate to give parents access to their online accounts, many reply because it is rooted in a fear of getting in trouble for the content. Parents learn what has been posted in various routes, whether it’s gossip, school administration, police, but when the child isn’t there anymore to block access and the password access would maybe hinder the flow of information that may be abused online, for many parents, the online issues just add to the torture of losing a child.

We most likely will not have success in changing why the followers appear or how the trolls and bullies behave but we can change how we share the content that we will most inevitably leave behind. I encourage parents to build password trust, especially as your kids grow in a connected world where you may not get to provide input on Rest In Peace Facebook pages, YouTube tribute videos, and hate content built on the foundation of photos left behind by children who depart entirely too early.

Twitter is Changing Kids – via @huffpost

 

Twitter is changing kids. Kids are changing Twitter.

Twitter is changing because the kids are flocking to the service faster than previous years and that the use of Twitter by youth is creating a number of issues for parents, schools and the occasional Olympian who just wants to compete for his country without having to deal with harassment from a kid on Twitter who wants to raise a stink.

An interesting moment during the London Olympic Games was when Olympic diver Tom Daley (18) received the following tweet from fellow countryman Reece Messer (17): “you let your dad down i hope you know that.” This tweet was sent directly to the athlete and what Mr. Messer alleges he did not know at the time of posting the tweet, is that the father of Mr. Daley had recently passed after a long fight with cancer.

This post and subsequent tweets sent this young man on a path of media notoriety and online backlash from people around the world. Mr. Messer was investigated by police in the UK and his account has been suspended permanently by Twitter. I highly doubt that these events, especially warnings from police, have stopped Reece Messer from being an online bully, but this led to me addressing a concern in my work with a focus on the trends of youth who are migrating to Twitter from other social media platforms. Students who I have the privilege to speak with in my professional capacity, speaking at schools across Canada, seemed to be using Twitter to advertise personal messages to peers without censoring content from the rest of the user community and the Internet as a whole, especially content that is controversial within their school or peer community.

Initially, my focus on the trend as it applied to youth was that these two British teenagers were taking isolated arguments commonly seen in high schools between teens to a new level and to a new medium with a public vantage point similar to what we had seen with Facebook wall posts. I started digging in my own backyard and I discovered a Twitter conversation between a youth and my local police department as the young man was choosing to vent his frustrations after being cited for a traffic violation on a skateboard. The Vancouver Police Department is considered a leader in North America as a law enforcement agency that currently uses Twitter to engage community dialogue and address concerns from the public. The Twitter user was irate about his violation notice and instead of opening dialogue through parents or counsel to learn more about the alleged offence, the teen chose to address the police through social media and seek a departmental apology in targeting people who skateboard.

The police who monitor the account did an amazing job trying to direct this Twitter user in the correct path of voicing his concern in court or directly with the department, but he still found his comfort in using Twitter to goad the officer into an online conversation addressing his personal issue. He eventually got to a point where he addressed the officer who monitors the account as “pussies” for not replying to his query in a manner that he thought appropriate and then asking for a new police officer to talk to. Never through the dialogue did he consider to stop tweeting and seek guidance from adults or his parents.

Has the use of Twitter provided an interactive stage to users who not only expect replies from their favorite celebrities (@onedirection has yet to respond to my numerous tweets), but who expect that any issue, criminal or personal, can be addressed, vented about or solved on Twitter?

In contrast, direct communication between peers as youth advertise personal events as it occurs is becoming more public through the use of Twitter. Schools, parents and the general public are not learning about every event that may be of concern to a school or community because the information is being shared so quickly that it may go unnoticed unless a concern is addressed offline and to administration or authorities.

Recently, I presented at a high school where the Grade 12 students made T-shirts welcoming the new incoming Grade 8 students to the school for the 2012-13 school year. This may seem fairly benign and in good fun — until the content of the shirts was closely examined. The interesting aspect for me as a social media educator was that I learned about these shirts before school administration and before I walked into the building. This information was available to me only because the senior students choosing to share pictures of their homemade shirts on Twitter before ever putting the shirts on their bodies.

These shirts were covered in messages: “Welcum Grade 8’s”; “Love Knows No Age”; “Insert V-Card Here”; “Welcum Grade 8 13itches.” The students even included hashtags like #prospects and #welcum so that the T-shirts and subsequent online conversations on Twitter could become interconnected inside the school and online.

The use of these hashtags and the name of the school made searching the content online much easier but the students failed to realize that some of these messages might have legal implications beyond the creation of an offensive shirt for school. Concern from the parents was minimal because the content had not surfaced from the online environment, and if the school or police raised alarm when the shirts entered the school, the online content would still linger once the shirts hit the garbage. If mainstream media became involved in the event, the content would have followed the user online as it embedded in Google results (just ask Reece Messer if his tweet about Daley is deleted).

The hyper-sexualization of youth is becoming easier to recognize through Twitter and with every tweet about hook-ups, sexual preferences and subsequent bathroom self-shots, online reputations are being built in dangerous ways that hinder the prospects of professional and academic options in the future. Youth catch onto hashtag trends much faster than most Twitter users and there has not been an audience in my past year that has not referenced #firstworldproblems or that someone had #swag — when schools and parents have to focus on all of this negative behaviour online, where does education about the issues occur and how does a classroom discover positive social media education opportunities that would of be benefit to a user group who could use social media for so much more?

Parents need to understand social media behaviors as they apply to their children. Youth will connect and share online and Twitter is just becoming a new speaking environment (there will be more in the future). Most importantly, Twitter has given them a platform to share and learn collaboratively but when children start sharing in an environment designed for and used primarily by adults — why are we surprised when we learn that kids are laughing online because their friend is participating in #Twitterafterdark?

Trust Building With Your Connected Children

Within any new trend or technological development, there will be concerns around the negative use. Social media positives should not be dismissed, as the benefits to education very much outweigh the minuses considering that some negative human behaviours online are solely being highlighted by media who struggle to sell news in the traditional sense of television or newspapers.

Some of the negative concerns are that sharing can be dangerous, ruin reputation and that users face potential abuse of use by peers. Even with these concerns, the benefits to a classroom to engage in work and study in collaborative online facets while connecting with other learners around the world, cannot be ignored. Schools who are launching controlled forms of social media interaction will nurture an environment where students and teachers can connect sharing ideas and dialogue based on the working world.

I am by inclination an optimist when it comes to the better nature of humans, believing that the bad things will be filtered out over time and benefits will emerge with every child who learns proper use of social media by applying the ethics and character development that they demonstrate in the real-world. But in the early stages of any new technology or trend, parents must be aware of content shared and how children connect online using multiple types of devices.

Do not hesitate to explore social media and technology with your child, a little hand-holding never hurts, especially when they seem like seasoned experts.

Facebook makes privacy changes…again

Privacy appears to be a sticky wicket and like the sport of cricket where the term “sticky wicket” originates, online privacy is not getting the attention or respect it deserves. Facebook changes aspects of privacy management as trends change, as user demand is heard and how competitors introduce new forms of social media communication (see Google +).

How content is changed online doesn’t necessarily make me anymore inclined to share on Facebook but as a commentator of social media effects in education and social interaction, I feel the need to address these changes and specifically note the new changes to how you can share the tagging feature on Facebook.

Previously, you were tagged in a picture, your name essentially stamped into the photograph and shared within your albums, your friends albums and eventually the Internet as a whole as information is slowly leaked out (as it usually does). But now Facebook has included a feature where not just your friends but ANYONE can tag you in a photograph making the privacy change somewhat redundant as the intended purpose was to give the user more control of their own name/profile. My confusion lays in the need for this option. Facebook states that with this feature you have approval but why give the user base the ability to connect and label those they aren’t connected with in the first place?

“Going Forward: You can add tags of your friends or anyone else on Facebook. If you are ever tagged by a non-friend, it won’t appear on your profile unless you review and approve the post.”

As the technology evolves to better assist in the sharing of private information, can we begin to look closer at reputation management or even assisting those who are vulnerable online to better navigate content management before it’s posted to a social media website? Compare the sharing of a photo with the idea that the photo should not exist in the first place. We have all heard of stories and incidents where content captured by digital technology and shared online has had a negative effect on an individual. Why aren’t we focussing more on the lessons needed to address proper conduct compared to better control?

Recently this photo was posted online to help as a tongue-in-cheek suggestion in hiding the alcohol consumed in pictures that eventually end up on Facebook and I think it to be a very clever step!

If holding cats instead of drinks is a better visual, does this put our online reputations in better reverence with those who may cast judgement? My hope as I learn how these changes to the Facebook platform come into use is that my audiences will provide a better reference for schools and parents to better address how social media with or without privacy control can influence the future of youth as they develop the skills needed to move forward in life. Having a tagged photo as the anchor pulling them down can be especially tough, even if that anchor is one that they approved in a moment without consulting a parent who might help them better understand the consequences of content.

Should we shield from the avenues that help us learn?

When you know, you can’t un-know.

As we grow we learn about things through family, friends and multiple forms of media. When I was a kid, there was a channel that had soft-core pornography that confused me because it never explained why people seemed to go from random meeting to sex, especially when there was a pizza delivery involved.

Because of those scenarios I was terrified of ordering a pizza while home alone. It took a stern conversation from my father about those channels to teach me that the pizza delivery in real life was just a pizza delivery (at least in his experience). I’ve since overcome my fear of pizza delivery and I notice that the channels that used to come in scrambled are now much easier to access on the web than on the television. As a parent, I will have to explain much more compared to my father because all I really saw on the TV as a youth was scrambled lines and bad dialogue.

I have spent years educating people across Canada about social media and the dangers in sharing too much personal information but recently I was shielded from a story in my personal life that would help me make a better decision in my reactions. I appreciate the reasons as to why I was shielded, but when you learn truths and the darker side of a situation you can’t unlearn the information and it becomes harder to adjust your emotions in a rational way.

Although not related, this experience has helped me gain a better perspective of how some of my clients (especially parent groups) worry about children using the Internet. Can we protect youth from the imagery, video, violence, language that we may find offensive when it’s so readily available online? How do we react when we find that children themselves are creating the content that we as adults find offensive? How do we measure inappropriate or offensive content? Is it by the rule of law or by the measurement of societal outrage?

Obscenity in Canada noted by Section 163 of the Criminal Code provides definition of “obscenity”.

Officially termed as “Offences Tending to Corrupt Morals”, I ponder if education should redevelop lessons around morality. How does a teacher who is teaching a simple science lesson where he or she references the use of a cup, address the snickers of students who have watched a certain video on the Internet? How does a sexual health educator teach beyond the perceived notions of sexuality learned through an Internet search that included much more than text book grade sexual health (remember my pizza delivery fear).

Obscenity in content according to Section 163(8) — has “a dominant characteristic of the publication is the undue exploitation of sex, or the combination of sex and at least one of crime, horror, cruelty or violence” is deemed to be “obscene” under the current law. Can law adapt to include the things youth learn because of the Internet and popular culture or does the responsibility fall to the education system working with parents to better educate perceptions from reality?

Youth play video games were violent crime and sexual exploitation are inter-twined with achieving a high score. From the comfort of the family home, kids use social media to connect to obscene themes made famous on pages created by people from around the world. Traditional monitoring and enforcement of obscenity cannot take place when we see cases that should boggle the mind becoming part of the norm.

The question is, are we surprised anymore?

The photo below is from a Facebook wall feed where the profile owner commented on the above mentioned cup video and its obscenity. Note the diversity of people who comment on his status and affirm their previous viewing of the content despite it being illegal.

The uniqueness of this photo is that the post originated in its purpose to end up on a third-party website. When the post was tethered to the perceived private Facebook wall and shared with friends, the “How do I take it back!!” mentality kicks in. Moving from wanting to comment and provide context to accidentally sharing it with everyone on our friends list which at times includes minors who are either connected by family or friends.

It is extremely difficult to express opinions of morals and ethics through social media when we jump from topic to topic so quickly and with much fan fair in the moment to the topic. We live in a media culture in which obscenity, violence and suffering have become a shared show glamourized in press, wall posts and tweets whether it be in fiction based entertainment or in real-life events. The indifference to the plights of human suffering sets in and is used to allow for stress relief in video games and movies creating an environment justified with shoulder shrugs and comments like “Don’t worry, it’s just a game!”.

Morality becomes a lesson starting in the home, extending to the classroom, grown and nurtured within the community, relearned by adults who make decisions without daily reminders of right and wrong. Adults have checks and balances which we forget at times, an example being the traffic police officer who corrects bad driving behaviour plays the role of the parent who used to guide the daily morality of everyday life. Morality has its place in the lesson plans of teachers and through the ambivalence of social media use the need for education online is becoming more evident. The subject of online morality and ethics needs to become a bigger lesson as 21st century education is developing and connecting the online world to the reality of the living breathing world.

I do not envy the task bestowed on teachers who today lecture in a culture filled with smartphones, texting, the “I’ll just Google it” mentality and students who come into class more enthused by what they saw on YouTube compared to what they read in a book. Teachers are becoming guides, working in participation with parents to teach and to establish new forms of communication ethics. Without these partnerships in learning, I believe that the realities of the world will fall on deaf ears who will equate the suffering of others with the images and actions seen in video games and multimedia without developing a full understanding of the realities of human suffering and the struggles of the less fortunate.

The things we forget and what it takes to remember.

I wrote this in 2010 during the Olympics. I had forgotten I wrote about my feelings of crowds in Vancouver and how it connected to social media. I remember in the days after the Gold Medal Hockey game that we were proud, we were on-top of the world, that we were winners without having to lose face

“A rampage by young hockey fans after the Canucks’ loss to the Rangers in the Stanley Cup finale Tuesday night left as many as 200 injured and more than 50 arrested. Dozens of downtown stores had their windows smashed and there was some looting. As many as 500 officers, many equipped with riot gear and using large doses of tear gas, battled into the early morning against a “hard-core throng” that had spilled onto downtown streets. There were complaints that innocent people were tear-gassed and left without any avenue of escape. ” NY TIMES – June, 1994

Credit is given to the New York Times almost 16 years later and rings very clearly in my mind as a night that changed the way the world looked at a city known for being quaint and unassuming.

I had the distinct privilege as a citizen of this city to walk the streets on Friday evening and take in a number of Olympic sights and sounds relishing the positive and patriotic outbursts of joy.

As I walked southbound on Granville, negotiating wayward red mittens and flag pole tips, I strolled through a crowd of young Vancouverites swearing, smoking marijuana, drinking open liquor and all I could picture was the footage from the Riot of 1994. I wondered how these fans would celebrate a gold medal win in hockey compared to the gold medal win in skeleton by Jon Montgomery.

People who had never even heard of the sport skeleton were screaming for an Olympic win by a man who filled the hearts of millions with pride, all the while throwing their half-filled cans and bottles into gutters to hide from police as they walked past. I witnessed a guest from the Netherlands voice her concern for the behaviour of the group and felt shame wondering how the world viewed us in those moments. I realised that with the good there had to be some bad and I shared a smile with her reassuring that she wasn’t alone in her judgement.

I decided to look ahead and see what I could learn about those who may want to cross the line by looking at their own words through social networking.

I discovered a number of status updates on Facebook indicating how inebriated people intended to get this weekend as they partook in celebration of others achievements. I noticed a number of individuals who stated they would take on a cop if police got in the way of their right to celebrate and then I found one young man who last night was able to get so drunk that he passed out at the bar awaking in the drunk tank and making it home in time to go to work.

Vancouver is an amazing city complete with a number of incidents in our past that chronically dictate our future. Isn’t it ironic, that those who protect our city, may collectively sigh a breath of relief should Canada not qualify for the Ice Hockey gold medal game all because of how we as a city behaved over 15 years ago?

Hopefully, the Olympics becomes our time to not only show the world who we are as a whole but to show those we share our city with that we have grown past the self-entitled and alcohol fuelled maniacs that some of us become whenever we find or get close to success. I want to be proud for a number of reasons at the end of these Olympic games and I hope it includes the behaviour of every single fan.”

Reading this now, I wonder if Vancouver can ever learn to lose gracefully.

The Vancouver I know, my Vancouver, your Vancouver.

I spend a lot of time wondering about the randomness of events and how we piece together the faults and successes of our day. I never start a recap of my day with the negative nor do I walk into a meeting complaining about the moments of my life that although important to me are most likely trivial to a client.

I watch people in Vancouver drive and text, not caring about the family in the vehicle ahead and I watch people drive with little dogs on their lap oblivious to the idea that when an airbag deploys in a collision, that the dog will be pushed into the drivers face and at a huge rate of speed causing horrible injury to the driver and to the animal.

In my work, I meet parents who allow children who are 5 & 6 years old to sign up to social networking websites to play “that farm game” because it’s a good distraction. I see kids who use social media to share pictures of themselves posing in bathrooms for a boy or a girl who they will “<3 4eva 'n eva bcuz dey r soulm8z"

I see all these things and I wonder what my Father thought when I was learning and growing as an individual. Did he attempt to understand what I was feeling or did he equate teenage angst in my 1990's with his of the 1960's? Did he just get old and forget what is was like to be a kid, who is yearning for acceptance, identity and balance?

I do not agree with vandalism, assault, violence, ignorance of law, bystander voyeurism, hooliganism, or vilifying of a human being who is prepared to face the course of justice for crimes accused. I believe that those in our city who have used an amazing tool like social media to harm and harass children pose a greater risk to freedom than those who riot or loot.

Those who comment in hateful and racist ways through the veil of social media are committing crimes in themselves. Those who use bigotry or slander forget that they are fallible as easily as those they choose to identify, those who harass and play the card of sheriff and judge, I wonder if they just haven't had their 15 minutes of "trip and fall" posted to the world to be viewed on YouTube.

Adults who don't answer the call of ownership of action are fair game for the police to choose how to shame. Arrest in public if needed, arrest with family but because fair warning was given, the adult chooses how the course of action moves forward because the onus is given to make a swift and honourable decision.

To those of you who continue to vilify children who have made a mistake in public and had it captured and rehashed in this new social media court, I wonder if we will create a community hesitant to make or acknowledge mistakes and as a community raise children who are afraid to error. By pushing hate of the act, we will collectively fail as parents, educators or more importantly as instruments of social change as we try to guide the leaders of our future. We will create a society of people labeled by failure, afraid to make mistakes or acknowledge error becoming a society full of compliant and fearful people willed by complaint and a woe-is-me attitude. Which we as Vancouverites, tend to be. I'm surprised we haven't blamed Toronto for OUR riot by now.

For every text you send when driving, for every dog on lap, for every shoulder bump while walking down the street because we are too engrossed in our smartphone, we contribute to the raising of a community of self-absorbed and disconnected children who will flip cars, burn garbage cans, forget vowels when they write and capture crimes in progress on their phone to say "…is watching a cop car burn LOL".

Those who stepped up, they were in the minority but it may not have been their fight to take on. I saw police do their job and with tact and integrity, protecting property when needed, life and safety at all times as expected by their profession.

Those who brought themselves down, they were Downtown rioting, looting and watching because they wanted to be. Those identified participants ignored orders of police and will now see their name attached to Regina vs. _____ and will be given an opportunity to learn what the word of the governed means when spoken by a court of law.

The blame we are all searching for lays on those who chose to push the envelope in the moment. I didn't see a single person act out because of political strife, lack of civil liberty or the need for food or water. I saw socio-economic and racial diversity work in harmony to cause a mess hopefully cleaned up by someone else, with a final bill paid by someone who had the means or care to cover the cost.

My Vancouver did not show up to the riot on June 15th, my Vancouver did not bother participating in the fun activities planned for families because the vibe just wasn't right. The Vancouver that showed up to loot and riot was the Vancouver I tolerate on a daily basis because they are just too self-absorbed to think about change.

Be better Vancouver. Get better by being better.

Now, you'll have to excuse me. I'm trying to make an illegal right turn on a red light through a bike lane that is never used while juggling my Venti coffee, my iPhone is ringing and to be honest, I would rather pay a ticket than use a Bluetooth ear-piece that I only use when I walk down the street. Oh, and a dog is on my lap interfering with my ability to concentrate on my T-shirt that glitters. Go Canucks Go… As long as they're winning but if they're losing, nudge me awake in the third so I can beat the crowd out the gate.

Apologies through social media

I’d like to wade into the social media frenzy associated to recent civil disobedience events in Vancouver with an examination of social media apologies through blogs, YouTube and Facebook.

I’m a firm believer that mistakes, lapses in judgment and out-of-character actions help define our personalities, our individual experiences and our ability to grow as human beings. We are designed to fail and as humans we have the ability to forgive the actions of those we feel wronged by.

With recent events being shadowed by new forms of societal review by the masses who use social media as a tool to source and target those who have offended I believe that a quote from Lubbock is ideal:

“Our duty is to believe that for which we have sufficient evidence, and to suspend our judgment when we have not.”

The idea that a person can make a mistake and hope for forgiveness once guilt has been established is something that I believe to be a privilege bestowed onto those with a greater understanding of right and wrong. Once you make a mistake, you have to explore beyond the consequences to yourself and factor the individuals who have to collectively heal because of your actions. Allowing for comparison or justification in criminal action doesn’t allow for people to make fair judgement in your apology and once stated, an apology should stand in its entirety.

I note a recent apology http://camillecacniouncensored.wordpress.com/2011/06/20/tell-us-how-you-really-feel/ from a Ms. Camille Cacnio who participated in riot events in Vancouver on June 15th, 2011 where she has admitted to Theft under $5000 (a hybrid offense in Canada where the accused, if found guilty, can be face either a Summary or Indictable conviction should Crown see fit to pursue) after she had been identified by social media users who profiled her captured actions from film and cross-referenced her Facebook identity.

When I first read Ms. Cacnio’s words, I earned a respect for her approach to an apology but as the letter ran into an analysis of her events, her feelings and her opinion of those making comments, I realized that the only adequate apology would be one presented to a Judge. Her ability to use a blog to make an apology still allowed her to recant her words as easily as a Facebook status update made in error. Her actions were captured and I applaud her presence of mind to move into a process to establish guilt or innocence within a court of law but now that this original post has been edited it demonstrates that she may feel like she has gone too far once again.

Ms. Cacnio was captured on tape committing an act that she has now admitted to, this can be forgiven as we have all made poor decisions that may or may not be out of character but if you make an apology and statement, stick to it. Or at a bare minimum, just send out a tweet stating “I’m sorry.” At least then your apology seems legitimate and can be scrutinized for what it is, brief.

What I do not understand is how those who have been apparently burned by their social media presence and their corresponding actions captured through the lens of cameras and cellular phones have used social media as their forum to approach an apology to the masses when what they have posted is not only captured prior to edit but scrutinized to further vilify character. I believe that we are given access to counsel to face our mistakes in judgement when aware of the law but unfortunately there appears to be no one present to guide an appropriate apology response before the masses rip you to pieces in a forum so new.

Why do we choose to use social media as an apology tool? Is it accepted as a medium in its infancy to apologize to those who do not use it? Have we vacated the traditional letter to the newspaper where once the envelope is sealed and mailed our words become our gospel?

Facebook and the media associated to its function is used by humans who by experience with this medium are immature. Laws change. People change. Humanity changes but at times we revert to primal discourse.

I applaud this target of social outrage for her bravery to step up to her actions. She stepped up with a handful of others when so many more hide hoping that their door isn’t knocked on by authorities. This young lady personally and professionally has lost enough and most likely recognizes the power of shame. Despite her attempts to say everything she possibly could to address her feelings in this situation, I hope she will use this experience as one dedicated to growth and positivity. We have all had moments that shape our life and singular moments that define our true nature.

To Ms. Cacnio,

With respect to the actions others have taken towards you, you are a human who deserves due process of law without harassment and fear of unlawful repercussion for your actions. You erred and to err is human. Your apology was sufficient, your analysis was not needed.

Lubbock has another quote that may properly guide the future for you.

“Your character will be what you yourself choose to make it”

Social Media in and out of the workplace

The open access effect of technology has redirected our communication channels and put more power in the hands of current employees and future employees to dictate how they communicate within and outside the workplace.

This shift in communication is allowing for multiple mediums of positive and negative content to surface on the Internet. Employers need to be properly equipped to address social networking issues in the workplace preparing the work environment with education, training and policy to address social media websites, cellular phone usage, email and computer technologies.

Workplace and education institutions are running rampant with distractions currently centered around social media and mobile connectivity but like any attempt at calming pop-culture phenomenons, reigning in attention spans and disciplining the majority of issues can be a daunting task for an employer or educator. How do you maximize employee and student engagement while allowing for “water-cooler” conversations that now occur over text and instant message?

Some employers have embraced social networking as a method of assessing the true character and traits of aspiring or future employees. While for others, the ever-expanding world of Facebook has followed them into the workplace with disastrous professional and personal consequences.

Students are currently in a position to have their entire secondary/post-secondary educations and experiences dissected through wall posting reviews and photo analysis. How can a future employee prepare themselves for a future of trying to put a best-foot-forward when the first impression has already been scrutinized in digital form. The future and onus exists for human resource departments and management to harness the positive and negative effects of social media presence to identify the would-be workplace bullies, future sexual harassment concerns, and the unmotivated who may hinder workplace productivity by not only educating those who are considered for employment but those who are rejected because of their social media profiles.

The key to a clear and positive workplace with social media presence is to recognize the uses and abuses facilitated by social networking, identify the steps that should be taken to control this behavior in the workplace by establishing a set guideline of social media policies detailing how employees may be hired, governed and dismissed by their personal and private social media usage.

No workplace should be without clear policies. Very specific policies need to be in place that govern the usage of professional and private Internet access in the workplace. When employees are introduced to the access provided to them in the workplace rules have to be established to identify how the Internet access that the employee brings with them (cellular and mobile devices) are being used on company time.

Educating employees and being confident that they, as well as management understand what is expected of them while using social media in their professional and private conduct within and when referencing the workplace is a first step to inter-office social media success. Having the ability to identify online sexual and workplace harassment-related issues should be equated to the real world with relevant consequences noted in guideline policy.

Like any change in business practices, most lessons are learned as issues arise. Social media shapes business today though marketing, employee engagement and as a window to clients but when employers utilize the benefits of technology and ignore the rules of engagement with staff, the need for tailored policy becomes paramount.

Can a supervisor ignore the rudeness of texting an employee at all hours of night because the ability to text exists when they wouldn’t call otherwise?

Can a human resources manager ignore the perceived attractiveness of a prospective employee because an Internet search revealed photos that they would have otherwise never seen?

Can an applicant rise above words on a wall post that in another forum would never have been seen or heard by a manager?

With all of these questions, how do we factor known human behaviour in the interview process? The answer may be that we be forced to bring a mirror into the room for all involved and present judgment onto ourselves before we pass onto others.

SMS Texting

I’d like this post to reflect my feelings as a speaker when it comes to getting the attention of an audience.

When I speak, please listen, show interest, stop texting.

Repeat and emphasis on stop texting.

I’m tired of texting. I hate the convenience of it, the lack of emotion, the lck f vwls. 😉

Okay, so it can be fun but I direct this post and subsequent comments to teachers and parents who read this.

How much does texting interfere with classes?

How much does it interfere with family time?

Does it happen late at night when you’re sleeping?

What have you done to address texting issues either at the home or in the classroom?

How would you react if your service provider offered you an option to see the texts your child sent and received without having to look at the child’s phone?

Some general questions but the responses are more than valuable! Please send some feedback.